England, England, Julian Barnes

Let me say this upfront first, because I'm very biased: Julian Barnes is one of my favorite writers. Ever since I read A History of the World in 10 1/2 chapters I've tried to read everything he has written. England, England was in my list, but I'm not sure why it kept being pushed to the bottom. Now I've finally read it. And it might be my favorite Barnes book yet.

I find that, when you read a book, the context that surrounds you in that moment gives shape to your reading. I've read England, England while traveling in, well, England, which adds to the fun, and, even more importantly, I've read it after Brexit. The satire multiplies itself when you realize how accurate Barnes was when we wrote the book almost twenty years ago.

Sir Jack Pitman is a millionaire who wants to leave behind something the world will remember him by. He decides to build a replica of England in the Isle of Wight. It's not just the monuments he wants to duplicate, but the history itself. As the experts through the book emphasize, tourist will much rather see the copy than the original, especially if it's easier to get to. They have meetings to decide if Robin Hood should have women and gays in his band, if Nell Gwyn should be fourteen or eighteen years old, if the actors that will play the part of peasants should talk to the visitors in the pub, recreating a romantic vision of England. They poll people all over the world to find out what they think of when they think of England (I was very surprised that "fish and chips" wasn't on the list, but but "hypocrisy" and "gardening" were, couldn't help but laugh), and they manage to bring everything of some importance to the new England, even the King and Queen (and Manchester United, ha!). Problems begin to arise when the actors start losing it and acting like their characters. Smugglers begin to smuggle; Robin Hood rebels; Dr Johnson is depressed; the king wants to sleep with every woman on the island and he won't follow his contract. Meanwhile, the real England (Old England) is bankrupt. The EU has taken away the right of free movement through Europe to its people, and the English Euro is worthless (this book was written in 1998, before the UK decided to keep the pound). They have gone back to a very simple economy, a rural country side, pollution-free skies. People don't lock their doors at night, they don't care about the world outside their little towns, they go back to fêtes and gardening and walking in the woods. They have to rewrite their history, which they have lost. And, without history, a country doesn't really exist.

I read this book in two days (granted, I was on vacation with a lot of time in my hands, but still, it's a fast read). I was on a train while reading the best part of the book, a description of Sir Jack's most perverse sexual dealings; the people surrounding me probably thought I was crazy, because I was crying from laughing so hard. There is not a page in this book that is not worth at least a smile and at best a loud cackle. All the characters have something that makes them unique, but at the same time they are quintessentially English (as the signs around the countryside I visited kept reminding me). Only a British person can laugh like this at British (in this case English) people. Only Julian Barnes can write a satire like this and still not be kicked out of his country. A must read. It should be compulsory for anyone wanting to visit England.